
Dear Friends,
Heather and I became parents on June 15th, at 6:06 a.m. to a beautiful
preemie boy weighing 1 lb. and 13 ounces. We named him Eli after Heather's
uncle and Baker after my grandfather. Eli's twin brother Adam Gabriel
died before birth due to complications from a prolapsed umbilical cord
and an infection eighteen days earlier on May 29th.
When Eli was born he had some serious complications; lung
disease, some bleeding in the brain, and a cyst in his small intestine,
but those challenges were nothing compared to the life, spirit, peace
and love that we saw in that tiny body. Over the coming weeks we got to
experience what it's like to care for someone without reservation. Heather
was the perfect and complete mom; I did my best to keep up and learn to
be a dad. We quickly schooled ourselves in the terminology of the nursery
ICU, she studied the capability of the nurses (she hand picked only the
best), and we quickly reviewed and studied up on anatomy and physiology.
Our time at St. Joseph's Hospital NICU was scary, educational, horrifying,
happy, more education, more fear, but ultimately we feel that it was fun
to be the parents of this content little dimpled smiley guy.
I won't chronicle all of the ups and downs during the weeks that followed,
but Eli made it thru two surgeries, two infections, good days, bad days,
and countless scares before having three very good days in a row. We were
scared but optimistic about an upcoming surgery when things went terribly
wrong. Eli started experiencing internal hemorrhaging and difficulty breathing.
The doctors and nurses gave their best efforts to stabilize Eli all night
long. In the early morning he started having seizures and then coded.
They managed to bring him through this entire traumatic event, but warned
us that it would only get worse. Eli's little body was giving up even
though his spirit was still strong. He had stayed awake looking into Heather's
eyes and holding her hand for about five hours throughout the night. Even
as we had to make a terrible decision, he was trying to see his mom. Our
grief began when we chose for 'Eli's team' to give us some time with him
and then remove him from the machines. The nurses placed Eli into Heather's
arms, where for the rest of his life he would know only our love.
We had been excited about the adventure of our lives, but
unfortunately for us this adventure was going to be decades shorter than
it should have been. Eli died on August 30th, at 8:19 AM. Parenthood lasted
for ten weeks, six days, two hours and nineteen minutes before we had
to make the decision to give our son some peace and rest from his rapidly
failing body. Parenthood has ended, but we will be parents forever.
This Web site is our chance to share Eli with you - it
is so important for us to share this special little guy with the people
in our lives. We are constantly amazed that someone so small and young
touched so many people around the world. We have placed pictures, kind
words that all of you have shared with us, a beautiful slideshow, tears
and hugs on Eli's site.
So many of you have asked how you can help and show support in this very
difficult time in our lives, so we have placed links on this site for
you to find out more information on how to make a donation. For us this
is just another way Eli can still have influence in this life. We selected
the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Phoenix and the St. Joseph's Nursery
ICU because of the amazing support they both provided our family and all
families in need. Please don't feel obligated in any way but know it is
there if you want to make a donation in memory of Eli.
Through the years we have had the grace or good luck, whichever you want
to call it, to share some of our best and worst times with you all. This
is our worst time, and we have one thing to ask. Please remember us in
your prayers as we search for meaning, acceptance, and forgiveness (God's
got some s'plainin' to do). However, know that Heather and I will as always
go through this together with all of our love for one another and the
caring support of our complete family, and we will smile...later.
Please share this Web site with anyone and everyone you think would like
to know about Eli and the amazing gift he has been in our world.
Thank you all for being in our lives
we are blessed for knowing you.
Wayne and Heather